Seeing that I am telling you my story, I need to set the scene a bit.
As a trauma survivor it can be terrifying to do a deep dive into your past memories. There are some dark pitfalls that are very easy to fall into and bring you instantly to a ugly place. As someone that has done the hard work of creating internal boundaries, it is safe to look back. I packed up the yuck and keep it in a separate mental filing box. It does not get to hang out with the rest of my delightful memories.
To be very clear, I do not ignore those experiences. They are clear and present. However, there are beautiful things in my childhood too. Things I want to remember. Happiness that I won’t allow to be stolen. I won’t allow bad moments to tarnish my rainbows.
As a child I often felt unsafe. My experiences shaped me into who I am today. I grew and stretched and as an adult I can now protect that little girl and allow her to remember the good and the bad. I had to work on becoming a healthy strong women and go back and rescue the child that nobody else did. You know what – it feels great.
I know someday, with hard work and therapy, you too can create a safe haven for your inner child. Be brave and peek into your past. Look through your own kaleidoscope of happy childhood memories, without dwelling on anything negative.
Thank you for listening…