Seeing that I am telling you my story, I need to set the scene a bit.
As a trauma survivor it can be terrifying to do a deep dive into your past memories. There are some dark pitfalls that are very easy to fall into and bring you instantly to a ugly place. As someone that has done the hard work of creating internal boundaries, it is safe to look back. I packed up the yuck and keep it in a separate mental filing box. It does not get to hang out with the rest of my delightful memories.
To be very clear, I do not ignore those experiences. They are clear and present. However, there are beautiful things in my childhood too. Things I want to remember. Happiness that I won’t allow to be stolen. I won’t allow bad moments to tarnish my rainbows.
As a child I often felt unsafe. My experiences shaped me into who I am today. I grew and stretched and as an adult I can now protect that little girl and allow her to remember the good and the bad. I had to work on becoming a healthy strong women and go back and rescue the child that nobody else did. You know what – it feels great.
I know someday, with hard work and therapy, you too can create a safe haven for your inner child. Be brave and peek into your past. Look through your own kaleidoscope of happy childhood memories, without dwelling on anything negative.
Thank you for listening…
Amy Z
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Loved it! Thank you.
Wow!! I really felt like I was there-you were walking me through your childhood home, sharing your sweet memories and happiness along the way. The joy and love was overflowing!! Thanks for sharing. ❤️
Thanks Leigh!
With three done I feel like I can say I am a Podcaster! The process is slowly getting easier…It means so much for me to tell my story – my way. I super appreciate your support…It means a lot.
Thank you for giving me the idea and permission to remember the good memories of my childhood. I do not seem to remember a lot of my past, the ugliness and the dark secret always seems to rise to the surface. But I am going to start journaling the ones I do remember. I think I have spent so many years focusing on the secret and talking about it because it gave me my control back and allowed me not to have to keep the secret the dirty secret anymore. But it is time that move in from that! It was probably time along time ago… so thank you Amy.
This is exactly why I am sharing all of this. It’s so freeing to finally be able to look back at the good. To recognize that and celebrate it. You are right – we focus so hard and long at the bad things and secrets that we forget not everything was awful. It’s about where we decide to put our focus. So glad you are here and enjoying the Podcast!
Amy,
I commend you on choosing to live the good,not the bad. I hope one day I too can put “those things” in my mental box And choose to remember all the good there was. I’m recently new to your story and farm but,I am already in love with all the animals and personalities!! People like you are the reason people like me don’t feel so alone. Ok I know that was long but 2 more things 1) your voice is very soothing and you’re a great story teller! And 2) keep up being a wonderful Human❤️….your “Blog”
Was Amazing too! Thanks for
Sharing